Pakikisama, Kusang Palo, atbp.

Where on Earth can you find an individual who’s temporarily staying in your house just because his mom sent him away, and yet he finds it really difficult to do some simple household chores and the most important factor when you are staying at someone else’s home: THE COMRADESHIP AND WILLINGNESS TO HELP WITHOUT SOMEONE REMINDING YOU TO DO IT.

LIBRE NA NGA LAHAT E, PAGKAIN MO, KURYENTE, TUBIG, LAHAT LAHAT. TAPOS IKAW PA TATAMAD TAMAD NA KUMILOS? WALANG KUSANG PALO NA TUMULONG? SHIT. 

 Thank your Dad for helping me to go to a good university when I was still in college. Thank your Dad for being so charitable in helping everyone in the family who’s really in need. Thank your Dad for being so charming and appreciative in every little thing we do in our studies, because for him, education is the key to have a brilliant prospect in life. Thank your Dad for he is always there whenever we need him, not giving any hesitations in lending whatever we demand.  I just wish you could have inherited your Dad’s genuine disposition. If not because of your Dad, I might have sacked the fact that you are my uncle’s son; that you are my cousin. Crap.

My aunts are right: IKAW ANG PINAKASWERTE SA MAGPIPINSAN.

Imagine, he’s the only son. He’s pampered with everything. He could have studied in prestigious universities, but he chose to ditch the opportunity, saving his entire tuition fee for his own sumptuousness. How can not your parents hate you? You didn’t even venerate your parents hard work abroad just to give you the comfort in life that you want, then at the same time to achieve your dreams.  Crap. You’re old enough to make a distinction on what’s right, and what is not.

I could have blogged the good things that happened to me this past few weeks; I getting the job I want, God blessing me in his ways I never imagined he’s capable of doing, and more.  My dear cousin, just in case you want to know why I’m blogging this, it’s because I want you to know how fortunate you are. Your mom might not be able to define what it is like to be a mom to his son, and hey, that’s another story to tell. But the choice is yours if you’ll make your life wretched or something.  Your dad might not be able to express how much he loves you, because he’s too busy supervising his personnels at work: Do this, do that, I'll work on this, you work on that. Oh goodness. Go and kick ass kuya. Do something good for yourself naman! 

Kuya, it’s not yet late to move. Instead of going out visiting your girlfriend, and play basketball with your friends, why not try to find a job? Why not try to do something else that will do good to you?

Cut the crap cousin. Moveeee!  

Highschool ♥

Ma’am Rose reprimanded me for being late, again. Imagine, for 3 consecutive days, I always woke up late. Hahaha. :D So, instead of answering back, (which is what I always do) I kept quiet. I walked to the classroom timidly, and outside our room, I saw my guy classmates sitting at the foyer. They were all bowing their heads, and I realize they’re up to something. I know that they know that I’m being scolded for being late, and so they feel sorry about what happened. L

Little did I know that they have plans to make me happy. As soon as I approached the end of the line of my guy classmates, Guian stoop up and shouted, “Jhoanna Marrie! Boys! Sayaw na! “and soon after, I saw them singing and dancing Willie Revillame’s song, “Boom Tarat Tarat.” They made me howl once more like a diminutive girl who’s looking for her misplaced doll.

Guian, Cezar, Ryan, (my first love. But is now avoiding me because he’s feeling awkward about the idea of my first love thingy. Hahaha!) Erick, Pedro, EJ, Teody, Alfredo, Ken, and Alvin.  Thank you boys. J I’m sorry it took me 5 years to tell this tale about what you guys did to please me. You boys are just the sweetest. ♥

From lower left: Alvin, Erick, Guian, Ken (Face blurred :P) EJ, Teody, Alfredo, and Cezar. 

My closest photo with my first love, Ryan Rey Yang Rumingan. Naks memorize. HAHAHA. :D

Alfredo, with first love. HUHU HAHA. 

Hoping to see you all soon guys. I love and miss you all like crazy! 

JhoGor (Because you are my best bud. :*)

Malapit na naman magpasukan. Muntik na naman ako magtext sa mga kaibigan ko ng "Kelan tayo mag- eenroll?" Tinignan ko isa- isa lahat ng members sa group na Mcdodo sa phone ko. Sabi ko lahat kami graduate na, pero may pangalang lumitaw na hindi ko nakita sa PICC nung April 3. Pangalan ni Rigor. </3

Rainell James Gamayo Dumlao sa totoong buhay. Ipinanganak syang nananalantay sa kanyang dugo ang pagiging masiba sa pagkain, (kinakain nya lahat huwag lang yung mushrooms sa Burger Steak ng Jolibee na ako ang kumakain) mukhang sindikato at snatcher sa Cubao at Quiapo, martyr pagdating sa paksang pang- romansa, at matinik sa babae. 

"Ang tunay na bayaw, nag- jeje pose."

Nung una ko syang makita sa Speech Lab na room namin noon, kausap nya si Jennie at bespren nitong si Billy. Sa loob loob ko, "Putang- ina, lakas ng loob nitong lapitan si Jennie ah? Di ba sya nahiya sa itsura nya? Kahit kailan di ko kakaibiganin yan."

Hanggang sa lumipas ang buwan at taon, nakita ko na lang syang nakaalampay sa braso ko, nakayakap sakin kapag naglalambing sya, at nagprisintang maging "Temporary Asawa" ko noong mga panahon na dumudugo ang puso ko kay Imas. Walang hiya. Kinain ko lahat ng mga naiisip ko nun. Nakakahiya. 

Tapos bigla nyang sinabi sakin, 

"Ako hindi kita sasaktan asawa, mamahalin kita. Tandaan mo yan."

Mga katagang hanggang ngayon, naaalala kong sinambit nya sa akin habang nakatingin sa mga mata ko, nung nasa ilalim kami ng puno sa Botanical Garden, at pinapaamo namin ang mga pusang nag-sisilapit sa amin.

Minsan nga nung narealize kong malapit na kami umalis, bigla akong naiyak sa harap nya. Pati sya naluha. "Wag kang ganyan, magkikita pa naman tayo ex- wife." Tapos ngingiti, punas konti sa naluluhang mata.

Tinawanan ko lang sya, nagdadrama sya na malapit na daw kami umalis, tapos sya 18 years ng nag- aaral. Loyalist sya ng Trinity. Sa Trinity sya nag- Nursery at Kinder. Sa Trinity din sya nag- Elementary. Sa Trinity din sya nag- Highschool. Sa Trinity din sya nag- college. 

Kung tutuusin alam nya lahat ng pangyayari sa Trinity. Kung sino na yung mga namatay na members ng faculty and staff simula ng magka- isip sya nung Nursery, kung sino na yung mga bagong faculty members, yung Board of Trustees, mga naging Vice- President at President ng Trinity. 

Kaya laking gulat ko nung nag- practice sya ng sarili nyang graduation nung April 2, 2013 sa Gazebo ng Trinity, ang alam nyang Vice- President ng Trinity, ay si Dr. Josefina Sumaya. Susmaryosep. Loyal ka nga Rigor.

Gago ka Rigor, bente- dos anyos ka na. Sana naman mahiya ka na. Ilang batch na ang nalampasan mo hoy. Pero alam mo naman na kahit bigoteng sarado ka, e mahal na mahal kita. 

Naaalala ko yung mga panahon na gutom na gutom na ako at hindi ako makalabas ng room dahil sa dami ng ipinapasulat ng aming Dekano, lumabas sya. Syempre akala ko magka- cutting class na naman. (Yan kasi ang gawain nya, kaya naman umabot ng 6 years sa kolehiyo, kapag hindi nya trip yung subject, lalabas na yan, tatambay sa Stephen's, mag- yoyosi, at makaka- ututang dila na nya ang mga kapwa niya nag- cutting.)

Pag balik nya sa loob ng room namin, tinignan nya ako. Ngumiti sya tapos inabot nya yung plastic ng Garcia's sa akin.

Nakita ko yung laman ng supot.

Ang favorite kong Snacku, Sweet Corn, at ang ultimate favorite kong Choko- Choko.

Sira ulo sya. Bago sya lumabas at dumadaing ako sa kanya na gutom ako, nag- rereklamo sya sakin na wala na syang pera, magka- away daw kasi sila ng Papa nya kaya nahihirapan sya kumuha. Wala nakinig lang ako, tapos bigla na syang lumabas nung nagsabi akong gutom ako.

Naisip ko na kaya baka sya lumabas, e kasi nababad trip sya sa akin na wala man lang kaemo- emotion yung pakikinig ko sa kanya. HAHAHA. :D 

Sana nga sya na lang nakilala ko noon pa. Sa maniwala ka at sa hindi, boyfriend material si Rigor. Mabait sya, gentleman, hindi manyakis, mapagmahal, at mahilig maglambing. Pinanindigan nya ang pagiging Temporary Asawa nya sa akin nun. Hinihintay nya ako sa Garcia's para sabay kami pumasok, hinhintay nya ako sa pagkain, lahat lahat. Kaso sabi nya sakin nun, "Jho dear a female dear, kahit na gusto kitang maging jowa, di ako yung karapat- dapat for you. Tsaka nakikita ko naman na mahal na mahal ka ni Tsiles. (Chiles) am gonna cry now."

Lahat ng sasabihin nya, lahat magsisimula sa "Am gonna."

AM GONNA START NOW.

AM GONNA END NOW.

AM GONNA EAT NOW.

And his famous tagline:

AM GONNA CRY NOW.

To you my ex- husband turned into BFF's, mahal na mahal kita. I may not always be around you to cheer you up whenever you need me, but I assure you, am just a text/call away. Okay? Huwag nang magpalampas pa ng isang batch. Please. Sumama ka na sa kanila. 

Ikaw lang ang nag- iisang Bigote ng buhay ko. ♥

Mamimiss kitang ugag ka. :*

Fvck you and your lies.

Someone who cannot afford to lose you will do everything just for you. For you not to be hurt, not to get jealous, and not to get insecure whenever you think that all the flirty bitches would enfold your guy if you are not around, and so on. But the idea of lying to your love, for you not to be jealous never thumped into my psyche. I cried myself to sleep yesterday when I found out that Chiles was able to do that; He texted my close friend Hapie, (She’s the one I’m getting jealous at) told her not to tell me that a couple of weeks ago, they’re texting each other, talking about me and my distrust monstrous issues, and so on. I am so appalled. Infidelity was the first word that came into my mind to describe what they did, though it didn’t implicated any sweet nothings. Fine.

I was shouting, crying, and very, very dismayed when I talk to Chiles. I never thought he’d be able to do that. Nakaka putang ina. I think I need to have a break, think things through, and worst; let our relationship rest. I am heavily sedated by anger, guilt (I know I am the one who pushed him to covert whatever he is doing, because he knows how jealous I am when it comes to girls, whoever they are to him. Name it: Friends, colleagues, and the like.)

He kept on telling me, he was able to do that because he doesn’t want me to be jealous. Eh?!

And I told him, “Sana sinabi mo na lang yung totoo, di excuse yung alam mo kasing magseselos ako. E di sana di mo na lang sya tinext, e alam mo naman palang magseselos ako. Tangina nyo!” and he’s crying.

Guess I don’t need to apologize for being so short- spoken.

Hours passed, and he kept on texting me. It took me a long time to respond, and I calmly gathered what I need to say. Blah blah blah.

Night time falls, and he called me. “Bat di ka nagtetext? Ayaw mo pa din ako kausap? Hubby naman, lahat naman ginawa ko, kanina pa ako nagmamakaawa, na di ko na ulit uulitin. Ni hindi nga ako nagpasweet sa kanya e, ni hindi ko nga niligawan e.”

So what the fvcking hell is your point? Makalimutan ko agad- agad? Fvck.

He lied, because he doesn’t want me to be jealous. Oh. Tapos? I can’t stop being so sarcastic about what they did. Bullshit.

Then I realized, giving him what he want (Chiles is asking me for 2^nd chance) would be enough to rectify what he did. Okay, am not that bad as you think. 2^nd chance given. Hope you deserve it Delos Reyes.

He’s crying when I told him I want a break up, (Not that so reasonable though.) His crying bowed into unfathomable sob. In between sobbing, he told me how sorry and stupid he is. He told me how much he loves me, and he was able to do that because he doesn’t want me to be jealous, though I did not clearly apprehend what he said.  Verbose. Serves you right Chiles.

What happened to us reached to our parents. Mama and Papa stayed quiet. They don’t want to impede whatever our problem is. I understand. But his parents we’re really bothered, to the point that what happened to us made Tita Bing (His mom) cry. I don’t know if I was the one who made her cry, just dismiss what I said anyway.

Tita Mommy Bing called me, and she invited me to come with them for lunch. I told Tita Mommy that I am being diffident, again. Then she said, (and tears pooled into my eyes when I heard Tita Mommy’s statement)

“Ikaw na bata ka, puno ka ng insecurities, e hindi naman dapat anak. Ako mismo taga bantay mo kay Chiles. Hinding hindi ako papaya na may ibang babae na dadalhin yan sa bahay. IKAW LANG. (Slowly emphasizing each words.)Ikaw alam na alam mo na parte ka ng family, kaya di ka dapat nag iisip ng ganyan. Okay ‘nak? Mahal na mahal ka ni Chiles. Mahal na mahal ka naming. Kung di nga lang kayo masyado pang bata ni anak gusto na naming ipakasal kayo e. Gusto na kita maging nanay ng mga magiging apo ko, gustong kita para sa anak ko. Ako ang kakampi mo kay Chiles. Mommy mo na ako e, at tsaka mahal kita. Pinapaiyak mo naman ako e. (And on the other line I heard Tita Mommy sniff, and I told her too that I love her very much)Sige na maligo ka na at magmalling pa tayo. Ingat ka pagpunta anak.”

AND SUDDENLY, THAT WHAT-MORE-COULD- I-ASK-FOR IDEA BATTERED MY WITS, AND HEARING TITA MOMMY’S WORD’S LIGHTEN UP MY MIND.

I hope the line of the song, “If Ever Your In My Arms Again” would bring my reliance and love back to our relationship. “THE BEST OF ROMANCES DESERVE SECOND CHANCES.” Ehhhh?!

Let’s give that 2^nd chance a try babyyyy.

PS: Chiles even invited Hapie to come with him at MOA. In accordance to Mr. Delos Reyes, friendly gesture lang. How about those people na makakakita sa kanila kapag magkasama na sila? Alam naman daw nya na di sasama si Hapie. Sus. Fvck.

My Thesis Acknowledgement. ♥

                I really do not know what to say, and I really do not know how to start either. Anyway, my heart swells with pride whenever I remember how victorious… aaah! Tong thesis most especially the defense. No words can describe how happy I am na at long last, after the roller coaster ride with thesis, at sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ng grupo ko, finally we made it! That where-do-we-go-from-here feeling mode on. =)))))) Nakakatuwang nakakanerbyos.

·         Papa God, thank you for always guiding us in whatever we do. Without You po, we know we can’t achieve anything. Thank you for always blessing us, giving us the strength and courage to go on when we feel down. I love you Bro! You’re just the best- est! ♥

·         Papa, Mama, Tito Robert, Tito Boyet, Tita Gay, Ate Tim, lahat lahat na kayo! Hahaha, maraming maraming salamat! You guys made it possible for me to achieve my dream. Now that I have my Bachelor’s Degree, I can marry the guy I love the most, for short pwede na ako mag-asawa. HAHAHAHAHA! Chos lang. I know you know na marami pa akong gustong gawin, and that includes my dream to become the legendary trial lawyer in the Philippines. Mehehe. :D Suporta naman dyan. Chos lang. Maraming maraming salamat po talaga! Mahal na mahal ko kayo. :*

·         To my future in- laws, (chos!) Tito Peter and Tita Bing, thank you for allowing me to stay in your home. I appreciate how you talked to my parents po just to say na sa inyo na lang po ako magstay kasi malayo ang byahe ko. Ayy naiiyak ako. ;( Thank you po sobra! Mwah! And to my ever- loving boyfriend Chiles, I love you hubby! Thank you for understanding my supah mood swings. Hahaha! At salamat na rin sa laging pagiindulge mo sakin sa pagkain. Ang lusog tuloy natin. :P Mahal na mahal kita!

·         Dean Cesar Orsal, thank you for inspiring us in everything, and one thing more I will definitely miss you po! Ugh, naiiyak ako. Echoserang film yan! I’ll never forget that, and your favorite line whenever you see me, “Nakauwi ka na ba? San ka umuwi?” followed by a hearty smile. I love you Dean, forever! I will never forget din the times that you made us all smile in the class by just saying, “Wit, gumetlak, echosera, and more.” Hahaha! Thank you very much Dean. 

·         And of course to our mighty thesis adviser, Mommy Evelyn Agato! We’re used to call you Mommy A na po made possible by your surname's initial. Hahaha! Agyamanak maestra senora! (Thank you ma’am in Ilocano.)  mahal na mahal ka po namin, though most of the time pasaway kami. You never failed to guide and support us Mommy A, and for us you’re more than just a thesis adviser. You’re our super mom, and my mother confessor. (Alam mo yan ma’am) We both love to make chismis and you never get tired of listening to my sentiments and chikas. Hahaha! I love you Mommy A!

·         Oh, how could I forget to thank my groupmates? Who all went on their way to confront me whenever they notice that my stress level over thesis goes up, that I am getting bossy, more and more, and when I can’t notice how harsh and rude I am whenever I’m pissed just because of thesis, (again) oh sorry. But you know that I only want what is the best for our group. I love you guys bigtime! Thank you for always doing your very best in everything, and now that we’re finally making martsa na, I would like to salute you all. Thank you for constantly reminding me not to eat, whenever I’m stressed because I always looked like a preggy lady all the time, though you know I am a stress eater. Thank you, thank you. Million thanks would not be enough. After all that we’ve been through, I can say that I have the best- est bunch of friends. Mcdodo, together with Daven, Santie, Culver, and Rigor, para tayong nakalunok ng megaphone sa ingay natin. Isa lang masasabi ko, TEAM BR! =)))))))) :D

            OH FINALLY, NANDITO NA AKO E, MAY MAGAGAWA PA BA AKO? HAHAHA CHOS LANG. :D CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF US! MABUHAY BATCH 2013! Hanap hanap din ng trabaho pag may time. :P

Feeling bad about it. :( :|

University of the Philippines is one of the oldest and exalted universities here in the Philippines. Well, if you conceded the college entrance examination of the university, extensively known as the UPCAT, then deliberately, the spotlight’s on you.

That is what I experienced when I found out I met the quota grade of the University of the Philippines, Baguio Campus. I opened the letter coming from UP, and I passed the degree of my choice, Communication Management.  I am the happiest girl alive. Mama and Papa was so thankful, nervous even on thinking how could I surpass the environment, the home sickness I am expected to feel, and of course, the maintenance of my grades. Taking UPCAT when I was in my secondary slate wasn’t even planned. Our institution informed us if we are interested in taking the exams, and apparently, many students gave their disapproving looks. I honestly think taking the exams would make my brain and heart have a hemorrhagic bug. Soon after our adviser encouraged me to take the exams, and so I did.

What made me inscribe my thoughts is that I could have graduated wearing the infamous academic uniform of the University, the Sablay.  Chiles was affronted about the idea that I just told him, and he said I might not be able to meet him if I pursued my degree in UPB. Well, just to inform you, Mama and Papa didn’t allow me to go the University. Worry and foreboding were obviously the reasons. 

They’re petrified that I will face the college life alone in Baguio on the dormitories around the campus. They’re petrified because no one’s going to look after me, not even a single relative of ours resides in Baguio. They’re petrified because they won’t be able to see me for days, weeks, months even. Of course their decision matters most. I don’t want to be studying in the prestigious university, knowing that in every seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months, my parents worry about me. Take note: ALL THE TIME. How could I focus then?

They're after what is the best for me, I know that. That’s why when they asked me if it’s okay to give up the UPB chance, I nodded. They want me to go to Manila, and there my aunt can look after me, take good care of me. In their eyes, I am still fragile and delicate. Those statements from my parents were really infuriating. How come they can’t trust me? How come they couldn’t even give me the chance to prove to them that I can, even if they are not around? They have always been my inspiration in everything I do, and it pained me knowing that they’re having doubts sending me in UPB just because of their constant reason: They’re worried. No, I don’t blame them, or have it the other way.

Then I realized, my life won’t be this happy if I studied in UPB. I could not meet the greatest friends I have right now, 4BR01, Mcdodo’s, my beloved schoolmates, my Alma Mater, and of course my Love, Chiles. The idea of feeling bad about what I did eventually become lighter. God knows how much I love them. Too bad, I can’t get rid of my foolishness.

When I finished my Degree, Bachelor of Arts in Broadcasting, in Trinity University of Asia, nestled in Quezon City, lots of “What If’s” sticked to my mind.

• What if I wrestled my passion in UPB? Then maybe right now I’ll be wearing the Sablay I dreamt of ever since then.

• What if I mastered the guts to talk to my parents about my dream university? Assure them that no matter what happens, I can survive, alone. After all I ‘ll be having my monthly visit just to be with them. (During that time they are residing at Echague, Isabela.) Then maybe right now I’ll be wearing the Sablay I dreamt of ever since then.

• What if I was brave and courageous  enough to fight for I what firmly believe in? I trust myself, I know that I can outdo whatever life has to throw during my college tales. Then maybe right now I’ll be wearing the Sablay I dreamt of ever since then. 

But right now, I can’t do anything about it. Recently, I just finished my academic combats and race. I am happy knowing that I was able to do it. But nothing could be happier if I just sticked to my dreams; pursue my fervour, finish my Degree, be a swollen with pride UPB graduate, and of course, wear that renowned Sablay.

To all the highschool graduates, feel free to follow your dreams. Nothing can stop you. You’re responsible for your own happiness. I once lost my dream, and believe me, I blame no one about it, about my decision, letting the chance fly away.  It’s about me not being bold enough to withstand what I really want. Go ahead, and hold up what makes you happy. J

Clingy as ever. :P

"I miss you Hubby ko. Sobla po. Mahal na mahal kita!"

Oh. I miss my love too. I suddenly want to kiss, hug, and cuddle with him. 

After an hour and a half, I saw him talking to the delivery boy (KFC) and when he saw me, he flushed his face splitting grin. 

And what I did:

I planted a soft kiss on his lips. He kissed me back, then afterwards he motioned me to eat. My tummy's growling, I noticed.

Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na magkaibigan kayo. Naisheshare mo sa kanya lahat ng sama ng loob mo, lahat ng pangarap mo. Lahat lahat. After all dapat naman lahat ng couples, may friendship pa rin na dapat madevelop. I'm blissfully happy, knowing that I have him, and he's mine. Shit. Makakapatay ako ng tao kapag nalaman kong may pumapantasya pa sa magiging asawa ko. Welcome to hell. ;)

Sa sobrang kulitan namin, I didn't notice that I fell into a deep slumber. But I know he kissed me before we went to bed. Haaay. I really could not ask for more God. He's so adorable and sweet. 

I love you my love, my life, my everything. ♥

Then we both dozed off.