Monday, April 29, 2013

Fvck you and your lies.

Someone who cannot afford to lose you will do everything just for you. For you not to be hurt, not to get jealous, and not to get insecure whenever you think that all the flirty bitches would enfold your guy if you are not around, and so on. But the idea of lying to your love, for you not to be jealous never thumped into my psyche. I cried myself to sleep yesterday when I found out that Chiles was able to do that; He texted my close friend Hapie, (She’s the one I’m getting jealous at) told her not to tell me that a couple of weeks ago, they’re texting each other, talking about me and my distrust monstrous issues, and so on. I am so appalled. Infidelity was the first word that came into my mind to describe what they did, though it didn’t implicated any sweet nothings. Fine.

I was shouting, crying, and very, very dismayed when I talk to Chiles. I never thought he’d be able to do that. Nakaka putang ina. I think I need to have a break, think things through, and worst; let our relationship rest. I am heavily sedated by anger, guilt (I know I am the one who pushed him to covert whatever he is doing, because he knows how jealous I am when it comes to girls, whoever they are to him. Name it: Friends, colleagues, and the like.)

He kept on telling me, he was able to do that because he doesn’t want me to be jealous. Eh?!

And I told him, “Sana sinabi mo na lang yung totoo, di excuse yung alam mo kasing magseselos ako. E di sana di mo na lang sya tinext, e alam mo naman palang magseselos ako. Tangina nyo!” and he’s crying.

Guess I don’t need to apologize for being so short- spoken.

Hours passed, and he kept on texting me. It took me a long time to respond, and I calmly gathered what I need to say. Blah blah blah.

Night time falls, and he called me. “Bat di ka nagtetext? Ayaw mo pa din ako kausap? Hubby naman, lahat naman ginawa ko, kanina pa ako nagmamakaawa, na di ko na ulit uulitin. Ni hindi nga ako nagpasweet sa kanya e, ni hindi ko nga niligawan e.”

So what the fvcking hell is your point? Makalimutan ko agad- agad? Fvck.
He lied, because he doesn’t want me to be jealous. Oh. Tapos? I can’t stop being so sarcastic about what they did. Bullshit.

Then I realized, giving him what he want (Chiles is asking me for 2nd chance) would be enough to rectify what he did. Okay, am not that bad as you think. 2nd chance given. Hope you deserve it Delos Reyes.

He’s crying when I told him I want a break up, (Not that so reasonable though.) His crying bowed into unfathomable sob. In between sobbing, he told me how sorry and stupid he is. He told me how much he loves me, and he was able to do that because he doesn’t want me to be jealous, though I did not clearly apprehend what he said.  Verbose. Serves you right Chiles.

What happened to us reached to our parents. Mama and Papa stayed quiet. They don’t want to impede whatever our problem is. I understand. But his parents we’re really bothered, to the point that what happened to us made Tita Bing (His mom) cry. I don’t know if I was the one who made her cry, just dismiss what I said anyway.
Tita Mommy Bing called me, and she invited me to come with them for lunch. I told Tita Mommy that I am being diffident, again. Then she said, (and tears pooled into my eyes when I heard Tita Mommy’s statement)

Ikaw na bata ka, puno ka ng insecurities, e hindi naman dapat anak. Ako mismo taga bantay mo kay Chiles. Hinding hindi ako papaya na may ibang babae na dadalhin yan sa bahay. IKAW LANG. (Slowly emphasizing each words.)Ikaw alam na alam mo na parte ka ng family, kaya di ka dapat nag iisip ng ganyan. Okay ‘nak? Mahal na mahal ka ni Chiles. Mahal na mahal ka naming. Kung di nga lang kayo masyado pang bata ni anak gusto na naming ipakasal kayo e. Gusto na kita maging nanay ng mga magiging apo ko, gustong kita para sa anak ko. Ako ang kakampi mo kay Chiles. Mommy mo na ako e, at tsaka mahal kita. Pinapaiyak mo naman ako e. (And on the other line I heard Tita Mommy sniff, and I told her too that I love her very much)Sige na maligo ka na at magmalling pa tayo. Ingat ka pagpunta anak.”


I hope the line of the song, “If Ever Your In My Arms Again” would bring my reliance and love back to our relationship. “THE BEST OF ROMANCES DESERVE SECOND CHANCES.” Ehhhh?!

Let’s give that 2nd chance a try babyyyy.

PS: Chiles even invited Hapie to come with him at MOA. In accordance to Mr. Delos Reyes, friendly gesture lang. How about those people na makakakita sa kanila kapag magkasama na sila? Alam naman daw nya na di sasama si Hapie. Sus. Fvck.


  1. Ay naku Jho. Mahal ka ni Chiles, mahal ka ng parents niya. Pagusapan niyo na lang yan. Misunderstanding lang yan darling. Kinikilig ako sa Mommy niya. Awwww.... :')